I always thought that pregnant women portrayed as monsters were exaggerations. I was wrong. This was a discovery I learned the hard way since the day I found out it’s pregnancy that’s been keeping me, well, such a bitch.
My daily routine would usually start with me running to the bathroom. No, not because of morning sickness, but because I overslept again because my body didn’t want to do anything but sleep. After taking a bath and brushing my teeth, the second part of my helter-skelter day would commence. You know how your gag reflex would often work well when you’re brushing your teeth? Mine would be in full performance. And that would be just the beginning of an entire day of gagging, which may or may not lead to actual vomiting.
“Morning sickness” must be the most deceiving and misleading term I’ve ever encountered in my life as mine went on for an entire day. #truestory
Once I arrived at work, I’d have to endure a closed room filled with different kinds of smell. My sense of smell was astonishingly sharp. Some of my friends would even show me identical packages of food and let me guess which ones contained what. I was like their very own food-sniffing gal who never failed. In the office, there’d be the smell of coffee, noodles, chips, sweat, perfume, everything imaginable. My lavender Lysol would always come handy as I try to cover the nausea-triggering odors despite getting looks from my colleagues. The most dreadful thing about it was that it came to a point when even the Lysol made me dizzy. When this happened, I would usually just get my handkerchief, not to cover my nose, but to cry.
Meal times were terrible. At first, I was inclined to eat only the “healthy” kind. But every pregnant woman knows that will never ever work. Between breakfast and lunch, and lunch and dinner, it would be normal for me to have had devoured seven different kinds of snack. And when it was time for lunch or dinner, I’d often silently sob again because I wouldn’t know what I want to eat. I didn’t want grease, didn’t want sauce, didn’t want steamed.
Dealing with people wasn’t much of a treat either. I remember this person at work whose seat I pushed away so far from her desk at the end of my shift because I wanted to punish her for making so much noise in sipping her iced coffee earlier that day. It was so insensitive of her, I thought. One time, I also literally hold off a teenager and his little brother from stepping into a cab, sternly telling them that I got to the taxi stop first. It was true, I did, but they were the ones who hailed it because I was so busy staring into space thinking about how badly I wanted to eat a whole jackfruit right then and there. They were nice enough not to argue and until now I couldn’t tell who was the rightful owner of the cab. One thing I’m sure though, with no baby bump showing yet, I’m pretty sure they just wanted to avoid a confrontation with a crazy lady.
But those are all behind me now as I have successfully survived the awful first three months of my pregnancy, the most awful trimester wherein you don’t look pregnant yet but you’re already acting like an old, bitter, spinster. The time when no one would let you cut in the line and no one would offer you a seat because you just look like every other girl, but with a forlorn look worn the whole time. It’s also the time when your most flattering tops and dresses would only make you look like a lazy alcoholic that had a little too much for lunch. It also didn’t help knowing that not all pregnant women go through the same things as I did. My friends didn’t, I was just one of the unfortunate few.
My doctor once told me that (almost) all the misery would go away once I start my fourth month, and she was right. Slowly it did. I am much more calmer now, much more diplomatic, much less picky, and so much more happier. With my baby kicking ever so often these days and with the excitement of not knowing its gender yet, I can now say that pregnancy is indeed fun. I know the last part of this can be exasperating, but until then I’ll savor the moment when I’m still active enough to go out when I want to with the guarantee of shorter waiting time in any queue, thanks to my now visible baby bump! ♥