When I was younger I always thought about how I’d love to get married but not be married. It meant that I love the idea of wedding but not of marriage. I don’t have commitment issues and I’m a believer of ever-after, but the thought of being dolled up for a day is so much more appealing than the idea of looking after a grown man for the rest of my life. Kidding. Not really.
So when I first started planning my wedding, I was so psyched that I had swiftly contacted vendors near and far and abruptly created excel files faster than I had finished any excel file in my life (I’ve had a lot). But as the day draws closer, I find myself shaking off the reality: of me planning. I hate it. I do. And that’s from someone who loves organizing events and carrying out delicate details.
I have three other close friends getting hitched in the next months and we all share the same sentiment: how stressful this drudgery is! Between getting the best deal at a venue, booking the impeccable supplier, trimming down the guest list, and staying within the allocation, it’s now easy to understand why the term bridezilla was ever coined.
Wedding planning is not a piece of cake. As I’ve found out.
If you’ve gradually turned yourself into the bride you don’t want to be just like us, you might want to consider these mantras I came up with to somehow keep my sanity daily… or until the “big day” is finally conquered.
I got myself into this. First and foremost, you are one of two mature adults who are thrilled to be married, right? I say this because what you are about to embark in is a huge commitment. I’m not only talking about the lifetime vow you are about to make, the months of orchestrating to achieve what you want requires a lot of dedication. So before you even dial that vendor’s number, make sure you’re in for the loooong haul.
I make my own decisions. As established, you’re an adult who made a decision. And as you may already have discovered, the decision-making does not end there. What theme do you want? What’s the color motif? Outdoor? Indoor? Ghost or Tiffany chairs? Biedermeier or cascading bouquet? But above all these, I feel that it’s the guest list that puts a lot of pressure in the couple. Your mom, your aunt, your godfather will be telling you to invite this relative and that friend. Don’t let this clout you. It’s your choice that matters. Who do you want to see when you make a toast? Who do you want to share your intimate story with? You know yourself better and you definitely know your budget better!
I choose to be happy. Speaking of choices, there will always be a voice inside you that will tell you to choose to let go and choose whatever makes you happy. Now this is crucial. You have to evaluate and define first what happiness means to you. Is it having a grand, talk of the town wedding? Or is it a quiet evening of only close family and friends followed by a grand honeymoon? You decide.
I have a life after the wedding. This is my favorite. I worry so much about RSVP, the weather, the vendor reliability that I tend to forget that a wedding is just one day. Yes, you can look at it from an “It only happens once (hopefully) in your life so it should be perfect” angle, but you can also look at it from “It’s only the beginning of something beautiful” point of view. I have never met a bride who had the perfect wedding because somehow, something always goes wrong. I have however met wives who claim to have the perfect wedding memories. These women are the ones who decided to not be strained by society (ehem, family) and not to spend beyond one’s means. It’s sad to think that some newlyweds spend the day after the wedding like an ordinary day because they have hangups from the event; or couples, three years into their marriage, still paying debt from their wedding. Remember, think of the life you have to live after saying “I do.”
It’s gonna be awesome. Of course, positivity attracts positive energy. I like to believe in this. So whenever you start having wedding woes, take a step back and remember that worrying will bring you nothing but wrinkles! Reminisce on the wonderful moments in your life and how you never expected it to be one. Believe that, though it may not go as the perfect wedding you have been dreaming of your whole life, it will still turn out awesome!
PS: The photos used are actual photos from my sister’s wedding four years ago. So yes, the lovely cake turned out to be a cute mess as it was too hot for a garden wedding that day. An example of perfectly imperfect. ♥