10 Things I’ve Learned On My 10th Month of Marriage

Few weeks ago marked our 10th wedding monthsary. We did not celebrate it as DM and I are never the monthly kind of celebrators. The last wedding-related celebration we had was for our .5 anniversary months ago, when we had a lovely intimate dinner. Now we are hoping to finally have some alone time for our first anniversary come July.

Unlike a monthly tally, we both believe that years are worth celebrating. And as we celebrate a milestone in our young marriage, I look back at the times I exuberantly told my friends how well things are going whenever they ask about life after the wedding. At the same time, I realize how I tell the same people how exhausted I am with having to deal with another human being for the rest of eternity!

All smiles, but what’s life after the wedding? Photo by Airballoon Project.

It’s true what our wise elders say, marriage really is not a walk in the park. While there are a lot more experienced people whom you should listen to when it comes to golden words on how to strengthen a union, allow me to share my two cents on what marriage means for someone who’s new at it.

1. Marriage means learning to cook or at least attempting to. As young girls, we are taught that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and thus we are encouraged to be handy around the kitchen. But modern society has also empowered us not to be stereotyped. True and true. I agree with both but here’s my honest opinion: At the beginning of the relationship, your man must know you enough to realize if you do not cook and he must accept it. That’s the type of relationship I have with my husband. I know he understands. But at the same time, if this is the case, this also makes your effort of trying to cook for your better half even more appreciated. You see, boys (and girls) are raised by mothers who always cooked for them. So home-cooked meals will always be synonymous to comfort and love. DM is a food enthusiast who loves to cook but he always expresses gratitude whenever I try to prepare something for him, even the most basic fried meal!


2. Marriage means learning to be a good listener. Among other things you need to learn in marriage is being a good listener. I often find myself going on and on on just about anything, from my friend’s engagement to my work complaints while my husband patiently listens. But when it’s his turn to talk about how he’s feeling so stressed and exhausted lately, I shake him off by saying he’s only overthinking. I realized one day (only because he told me straight up) that this can turn into bottled up emotions which will eventually be toxic in your relationship. Let him talk. If he wants to talk about the Cavs and Warriors, then so be it. You’ll have your turn to talk about Riverdale later.

3. Marriage means giving your partner time for his/her hobbies. While we’re in the topic of NBA, always be reminded that boys will always be boys. My husband likes cars, video games, sports, the whole big boy package. I’m actually grateful that he has his interests and hobbies because I understand how men need some release just like how some women resort to pampering and shopping. Plus, I’d really rather have him stay at home playing PS4 all day than having  to wonder what time he’d be home after a beer night with friends. A happy wife is a happy life. But you know what can make a happy wife? A happy husband that wants to reciprocate his wife’s tolerance!


4. Marriage means never losing the intimacy. We’ve heard about this and it’s very true. There will be days that, with all the things that go through your mind while you’re busy #adulting, you will forget about your spouse. Don’t. Don’t forget to Continue reading

The Ultimate Bride Gift: The Day He Decided to Tell the World About Us

Something amazing happened today!

My husband surprised me this morning with a Facebook post on my wall, sharing a link to something I have not expected: a blog post of our wedding story in the Australian wedding blog, Modern Wedding.

I cannot say I did not have any idea about it at all. I like to claim that I kinda did. I knew he had something up his sleeve when he asked me or literally had me answer questions about our wedding randomly for 2 days. It felt like a joke but I honestly thought he was planning to make a scrap book or something, so as to impress me with his crafting.

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Instead, he got me this! The gesture was one thing, but reading his thoughts in print was another. It’s surreal, it’s sublime. It’s something only he can pull off!

So here it is, a glimpse at how my DIY preparation went and a look at the the day  I will forever treasure—the day I married the man who makes my dreams come true.

WEDDING YOUR WAY: QUEENIE AND MICHAEL’S CUTE DIY DAY
http://www.modernwedding.com.au/wedding-your-way-queenie-and-michaels-cute-diy-day/

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Also putting here our official SDE video by Glen Ducante!  ♥

 

Post Valentine’s Day Thoughts: The 3 Types of Girls On 214

I woke up this morning and did my usual routine of getting ready for work and taking care of our toddler on the side. It’s a normal day. For some girls, however, waking up this morning may have been all smiles and breaking into songs after reminiscing on the day that was.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and while I’m not wishing to be one of those girls singing happily today, because I did get my fair share of edible gifts yesterday, I have now finally come to terms with recognizing that there just are different ways a girl would treat this once-a-year non-public, but still, holiday.

Let’s put the spotlight first on the men who, between the pressure of social media and what’s now the norm, are urged to debate upon themselves on whether or not they should give something special to their woman on Valentine’s day. With all honesty,  I say, being a single guy on February 14th really is a lot easier.

Perhaps before deciding on how to approach the celebration that seem to put men in a trap, dissecting the kind of woman they are dating or pursuing is essential.

I have a lot  of girl friends and way enough female Facebook friends to help me narrow down what I think are the 3 types of girls on the big (or not) day of Cupid.

The Hopeless Romantic. We all know at least one girl who gets giddy on V-Day. This is the girl who may not only hope but would really expect something of a production number sort of gift on Valentine’s. Whether it’s the cliche combo of flowers, teddy, and chocolates, or a dinner at a fancy restaurant, this girl’s got her eyes on the prize. Not all romantics can admit to being one too. So if you’re  a guy who thinks your girl just couldn’t care less about Valentine’s, think again. Think incessantly and backtrack to your conversations. There must be a hint there somewhere about how much she appreciates a man, even a fictional character, to be all chivalrous and thoughtful. They believe in love and how it should be celebrated. And that’s nice because not a lot of people do that anymore.

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The Annoyed. Becoming the Valentine’s version of a Christmas Grinch can be a process, but for some, it simply is the way it is. These are the women who not only say but who truly believe that Valentine’s is nothing but a scam put up by capitalists and everything is just the result of commercialism. This, I can’t help but Continue reading

5 Reasons Why I’m Keeping My Wedding Intimate

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Engagement Shoot | Photo by Clarence Nartates

As our country celebrates the promise of a new presidency, I find myself anxious about something else entirely: our wedding guest list! Two months away and DM and I still cannot say that we’ve finalized the list—yes, even after sending out a few Save the Date‘s.  And that’s got to be blamed on this small wedding reverie of mine.

But what’s bothering me more is the fact that some people still cannot comprehend the concept of keeping a wedding intimate. In the past months of planning, I’ve come across a good number of acquaintances and wedding vendors who talk about the rising popularity of small weddings in Cebu. Seems like more and more young couples have decided to stray away from the tradition. Our wedding coordinator shared that she had at least three recent events that only had about fifty guests. And I cannot help but be completely jealous. How did these couples manage to orchestrate that?!

I have always wanted to have an intimate wedding and I have been very vocal about it. I learned a lot of things about weddings through Friends and it was also through Rachel Green that I first got an idea of how magical a private wedding could be! Remember her made-up story on how she and Ross got married on a cliff during sunset? Swooning!

Whenever I think about the possibility of tripping over while I walk down the aisle, I’m comforted by the thought that, should it happen, the witnesses are all close enough to me that we can just laugh it off together.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, I don’t know yet) for me, the intimate wedding I’m planning right now is not as intimate as Continue reading

Wedding Woes: Five Mantras for the Bride-to-Be

When I was younger I always thought about how I’d love to get married but not be married. It meant that I love the idea of wedding but not of marriage. I don’t have commitment issues and I’m a believer of ever-after, but the thought of being dolled up for a day is so much more appealing than the idea of looking after a grown man for the rest of my life. Kidding. Not really.

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So when I first started planning my wedding, I was so psyched that I had swiftly contacted vendors near and far and abruptly created excel files faster than I had finished any excel file in my life (I’ve had a lot). But as the day draws closer, I find myself shaking off the reality: of me planning. I hate it. I do. And that’s from someone who loves organizing events and carrying out delicate details.

I have three other close friends getting hitched in the next months and we all share the same sentiment: how stressful this drudgery is! Between getting the best deal at a venue, booking the impeccable supplier, trimming down the guest list, and staying within the allocation, it’s now easy to understand why the term bridezilla was ever coined.

Wedding planning is not a piece of cake. As I’ve found out.

If you’ve gradually turned yourself into the bride you don’t want to be just like us, you might want to consider these mantras I came up with to somehow keep my sanity daily… or until the “big day” is finally conquered.

I got myself into this. First and foremost, you are one of two mature adults who are thrilled to be married, right? I say this because what you are about to embark in is a huge commitment. I’m not only talking about the lifetime vow you are about to make, the months of  orchestrating to achieve what you want requires Continue reading

Red Roses and Romance—the 21st Century Way

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Grabbed from Pinterest

Like an excited little girl who just got inside a candy shop, Bianca stares with delight at the breathtaking bouquet of red roses in front of her. Delicately resting on it is a small card that says, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Baby”. She opens the card and finds the words, written in gold, moving gracefully in slow motion until they finally read: Wish you were here. I miss you so. Love, James. A flood of mixed emotions suddenly rush through her veins and when it landed straight to her heart, she knows exactly why. She can’t help but be confused on whether or not she should be happy with the present, because deep inside she knows that that bouquet and card would have been one hell of a Valentine treat if she weren’t looking at the dozens of roses on her computer screen and she weren’t opening the card with a click of the mouse.

Bianca and James had been dating for more than two years when James decided to take his Software Programming career to Singapore. And it has been over a year since they began dealing with LD, or the dreaded long distance relationship. Their love affair has become solely dependent on the internet. Bianca’s breakfast means a hot pan de sal plus a quick post on James’ Facebook Wall. Dinner for James includes a bag of take-out and a Skype video call to enable him to check if his sweetheart has had her meal. If there is any consolation in their relationship, though, it’s the fact that Singapore and the Philippines share the same time zone, so one wouldn’t have to greet good morning to the other, who is about to sleep. While both parties could only wish they aren’t stuck in such complicated situation where the heart yearns for something that’s too far away, or where goodnight kisses are the result of a colon, a dash, and an asterisk combined, Bianca and James know Continue reading

Somebody’s Josephine

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I once knew a boy. He was really cute. Wore chucks and played the drums. He was the type that the school girl me would gush over in the university halls. And then with some twists of fate and splash of fairy dusts, we found ourselves in each others’ arms. From totally different worlds, yet we did. It was magic for a long while. But there was this itsy bitsy problem. There was another girl. Not really there at that moment, but somewhere in the dark recesses of his mind. Lingering. Her name was Josephine. Or something like that. It was a beautiful name; perhaps as beautiful as the memories he kept holding on to. But all those colorful memories shared never led them to being “them” as she would turn out to be the one that almost happened. As I earnestly pondered on this budding turbulence in our relationship, I realized I knew some more people who had someone they could only wish for. The perfect guy or girl who came along, but who did with circumstances that turned out Continue reading